Moody.

No no, I’m fine. March has been one of my more moodier months. And it’s ending.
It’ll be April tomorrow… wow. Time flies.

Time is such a hard thing to grasp. It’s so abstract, passing until it’s gone, gone until we’re old. Memories are made and we’re caught in the moment, then the next day it’s gone and we’re living a new memory, until all these bits and pieces disappear into the past, and the present seems even more unreal than those blurry days from forever ago. It’s difficult to understand. How we’re really just stuck in this life that just keeps moving forward, and forward, and even if you can’t keep up it won’t wait. And you just push along, not really getting what’s happening until it’s over. And when it’s over and you look back, you’re thinking, what the heck just happened? And you can’t really answer, except in one single word that’s supposed to summarize that entire experience. “Fun. Long. Dull. Hard. Easy. Unexplainable..” Time doesn’t make sense.

But once again, I’m rambling. I really haven’t rambled in a long time… this is what happens when I’ve gone so long without blogging. (It’s only been two weeks?) The busy life of school is finally starting to catch up with me. Or perhaps I’m just becoming lazier. But it’s not only school; it’s my life. There’s just been so many feelings that seem a bit too personal to be exclaiming over the internet, so I’ve been venting those emotions in a separate journal. I just can’t go without writing. Releasing.

But anyway, I don’t have much to say after such a long break, because all these emotions have been confusing and I can’t exactly list them out like a checklist titled ”All the feelings you’ll feel in life.” (I seriously feel as if I’ve been through them all in this one short month, but of course that’s impossible.) So I’m not even going to try to bother blogging about them, since my mind can’t even process it all without being thoroughly confused. A mood ring would probably explode. But let me tell you- it’s been one heck of a rollercoaster ride. It really just makes me want to sleep.

But I’ve been thinking about something else regarding love- is it possible to cheat on someone even when you truly love that person? I know the common answer is no, but I’ve been seriously contemplating this question. I’m not talking about cheating in a relationship before marriage (that’s a deal breaker), but about marriage (which isn’t honestly something I can talk about, because I don’t have the slightest clue what it’s about). Isn’t it possible for love to get dull after a while, and for temptation to creep in on a man (or woman) until he gives in? Of course he’d come back crying for forgiveness if he truly loves her, but he still cheated, right?

I don’t know if it matters at all.
I really just don’t know anymore.